Over the Top
The audacity. The contempt. The sheer bravado.
Such were my thoughts as a slightly juiced Melvis challenged Frankie V to an arm wrestling tournament well after bar hours this past Wednesday. The fact that FJV has 30+ years on Mel notwithstanding, I thought this might actually be a good match-up. Boy, was I wrong.
Not only did Mel slam FJV's knuckels on the table a whopping 7 times, he did so without conceding one victory to his younger challenger. 7 victories in a row. Just before the last victory, Mel swiveled his hat around, looked FJV directly in the eye, and laughed. And a damn sinister laugh at that.
I know that the disclaimer says he's cute and cuddly, but know this today my friends: when it all comes down to it, for your own safety, don't fuck with the Melvis.
posted by Doug P. @ 9:12 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I could've beaten him if it weren't for these damn hemorrhoids!
You know, Jose Canseco told me that Melvis is "on the juice" too. Jose said that he personally stuck the needle in Melvis' ass. Wait... maybe that was something else. Regardless, Melvis is a cheater. No way could he beat me in a fair match. Anyway, I think there will forever be an asterix after Melvis' name in the record books. I'll be ready for a rematch as soon as he can pass a piss test. And no, I'm not bitter.
Here's a collective "whatever". Listen, just because you run the karaoke show doesn't mean you could take Melvis. We'll have to wait for next season's commemorative cards to check the official stats.
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