Melvis Webpoll #4 - Favorite Genre

It's Time for your weekly Web Poll!
Be sure to leave a comment if your favorite style is not listed here!

What style of music do you like Melvis singing?

Give your opinionthe Classics (Elvis, Sinatra)Oldies (Ricky Nelson, Beatles)Hair Bands (Bon Jovi, Motley Crue)Hard Rock (Kiss, AC/DC)Pop (Uncle Kracker, B-52s)Urban (Sir Mix-A-Lot, Chef)

Current results

the Melvis Fan Club Expands - Nashville

As Mel Presidente, I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate our newest chapter added with the signing of the Nashville Charter! The lovely people of Nashville have been working tirelessly to attain this level of recognition. It was a seven step processs that included community outreach, maintaining detailed alcohol consumption logs, and a karaoke challenge.

Upon successful completion of the process, the Nashville hopefuls sent delegates to the shrine of Melvisdom, the Fabulous Hoffman Lanes. It was in this inner sanctum that the delegates were able to experience the Melvis firsthand. The magical evening concluded with the signing of the Nashville Charter, which officially recognized this branch of Melvisfans.



(right click and select 'view image' for enlarged version)

And, to officially seal the charter, one more important step needed to be taken. Much like the nautical community christening a boat with champagne, the delegates were christened with a kiss from the legend himself.



Congratulations to the new members of the Nashville Chapter of the Official Melvis Fan Club. We wish you continued success in all your Melvis endeavors.

-Regis
Mel Presidente

Melvis Webpoll #3

What type of Melvis merchandise would you buy?

Give your opinion T-shirt Keychain Coffee mug Temp Tattoo Hat picture laquered on wood CD or 8-track recording

Current results

If you would be interested in more than one item listed here, please vote for both. If you would like some other type of merchandise that isn't listed here, please leave a comment on this post. Thanks and happy voting.

Melvis candidate for new pope?

Would Melvis make a good pope? The G-String Diva seems to think so! Check out her original artwork in our exclusive fan art page.

Someone will have to check what color smoke is coming out of Mel's mouth at karaoke night.

What Should Melvis Say?

In my quest to amass a vast library of Melvis sound drops, I've really hit a wall. I have Melvis saying many phrases, such as "Big balls, I got the big ones", "I am the Lizard King", and "You might as well hang up your jock and say goodbye cruel world", but where do we go from there?

That's where you, the loyal Melvis fan come into play.

Please leave a comment on this post with suggestions of what you would like to hear Melvis enunciate. I will do my best to fill any requests or dreams.

Guitar Mel, Web Poll Interview

Greatest Balloon-guitarist ever. (He seems to think so.)



Mel Predicts what will happen with this week's web poll.

hear the mp3

Melvis's Web Poll 002

Melvis wants to know what you basically think of him.

Give your opinion He's an idiot, but a lovable, entertaining idiot I love his sh**, Melvis rules! I've never seen him perform live, but I can tell he's a genius

Current results

Please be objective and don't let your jealousy of Melvis' greatness cloud your thought.

Melvis Reads WebPoll 001

Melvis reads and reacts to last week's web poll.

Web Poll 001 mp3

Be sure to vote in all our web polls, this will be a regular spot for Mel.

Remember: You can hear Mel read his web polls and get your up-to-the-minute 'Melvis Update' by checking out "The Unemployment Line" podcast.

Detroit News from James Jaz

Sorry for the non-updates. I've been drunk the past week and unable to see my monitor through the beer goggles, making it impossible to add articles. Feeling much better now.

We have an update from Union Rep James Jaz about his recent business trip to Detriot.

Your Union Rep is hard at work trying to get the people of Detroit
exposed to the man - the myth - the legend - the Melvis!

1) on Day one I drove into a gang fight. I turned on Melvis at full
volume and stopped the turf war as they all froze and were hypnotized
by Melvis's melodic voice. Apparently though it wasn't loud enough,
because they started shooting at me after 10 seconds because I
couldn't turn the volume up any further.

2) I was playing "My Way" for some kids while stopped at a light (they
were really getting into it) and they ran off after the song. As the
light turned green I tried to accelerate, but the car wouldn't budge.
Someone had stolen my tires right out from under me! It must have
been someone training for a NASCAR pit crew! I wonder if the kids saw
who did it?

Sincerely,
James Jaz
Union Rep - Melvis Fan Club

There you have it. I have a bunch of content to post, but I need to save some of it for after this week's podcast.

New Fan Art Section Launched

There are some disturbed individuals out there who send me Photoshop'd pictures of Melvis.

And what better way to celebrate them than with their own page!

Melvis Fan Art Section

There is a link on the right so future generations might access the glory. Feel free to send me whatever you come up with, but I won't post anything that's really inappropriate or awkward.

New Melvis Performances Announced!!!!

Well, the time has come for the big time. It's a bittersweet moment, because so many of us have come to rely on the heart-stopping shows that Mel puts on at the bowling alley for free. It's great tham Mel will finally be making some money from his refined talent, but it means us freeloaders need to start putting up the dough.

It basically breaks down like this:

Frankie will continue to run his normal Karaoke show in the West Bar as he normally does. But, for those who want to see the Melvis, you'll have to journey into the seldom-used East Bar (located by the pro shop).

I did have a chance to talk to the management about this interesting move:

Regis: "So why the change to put Melvis in the East Bar?"
*Fritz: "After lengthy talks with the Melvis Estate, we decided to make the change and meet Mel's demands. When you have a talent like his coming into your business, you'll do whatever it takes to keep him around."

R: "But why the East Bar?"
F: "The Melvis Estate was adamant about using a more intimate setting. While we certainly believe that Mel could easily fill the West Bar several nights a week, we had to bow to artist demands."

R: "How do you see this change affecting the regular bargoer at the FHL?"
F: "Well, it's going to be difficult for those who want an audience with Melvis. The max capacity of the East Bar is 50 seated, and Mel doesn't want any standing room only tickets sold. We will only be selling same-day performance tickets, so we expect the ticket rush to begin as soon as we open our doors Saturday morning. We have strict orders to our bartenders and employees to not sell tickets in advance, even to VIPs.

R: "What about special promotions for groups like the Fan Club?"
F: "We have no plans to offer any specials on ticket sales at this point in time."

R: "You made it a point to keep Karaoke going even though Melvis will no longer be singing in the West Bar."
F: "Yes, although we expect Karaoke nights to be far diminished in attendance. It will basically be the people who were unable to secure tickets for the Melvis Performance. We wil be analyzing different options when we see the Karaoke numbers. I fully expect to remove Karaoke altogether by summer. Without Melvis, it's really going to have less appeal for the average patron."

R: "Any comment on the rumors that the show will include a topless Vegas-style revue?"
F: "We are not releasing any information about the show, and that's all I will say."

R: "Thanks for your time."

Management was kind enough to release this promotional flyer that they will be using to hype the Melvis show (right-click and view in new window to see detail). I will see if I can get some comment from Melvis, but I'm sure he will be very tight-lipped about it, maybe even pretending he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

*Name changed due to legal reasons